I ask this very insightful question as I am going through the process of reintroducing meditation into my daily life (for at least for 5 minutes—which in turn ends up being more like 10, sometimes even 20 minutes. Who knew I could find the time!) However, is meditating and repeating a mantra such as, all is well in my world, (thank you Louise Hay for that one) or I can handle anything that is thrown in my direction, or the baby will not fry my nerves today actually be helpful or is it more like repeating (Seinfeld fans will get this) Serenity Now, which ultimately sends that poor guy who repeats that mantra (I can’t remember his name… good Seinfeld trivia question right there!) to the psyche ward as aggression took over since (is there actually a moral to a Seinfeld episode??) one cannot suppress their true feelings forever. Eventually the water boils over and all hell breaks loose.
I think that’s where I’m at. (Ok, maybe a slight exaggeration there but there is certainly no serenity now!) Which leads me to ask an even deeper, philosophical question: Is all this meditation stuff only serving to bring up icky, negative feelings to the surface that I’ve been trying to keep buried deep down in my soul for 30 some odd years? If so, why am I disturbing my ignorant happiness? Is it really worth it? Do I HAVE to work through all my emotional baggage in oder to truly be happy? (I know plenty of you are shaking your heads YES, YES you fool, you have demons that need to be released.) Well, if you’re going to put it that way… maybe I like my demons. Maybe they’re making me happy while the rest of the world is messing me up!
Who knows what it is but all this head stuff has sent me into a head funk. The mantra’ing has permeated into my daily life making me repeat over and over, I love myself just as I am… but do I? (Ugh, now we’re really entering murky waters!) Listen, all I’m saying here is that meditation is some serious stuff and there is no warning label on it to prepare you for what may bubble up to the surface. I’m trying to let you all know that it can be tricky, it can be sneaky, and it can be scary. You can start slowly introducing meditation to your daily routine by using a meditation chair. On the odd flip side though, it also can be pretty good, because there are times afterwards I do actually feel a little lighter, a little more able to handle the day. All I can say is try meditation for better living.
I’m gonna stick with it though, as much as I may want to run like a screaming baby into my mama’s arms and just hope it all goes away. There’s got to be some good that comes out of this.
(Or so I think… Serenity Now!)