Getting divorced is more than just separating permanently from your spouse. It is a major life transition that inevitably comes with strong emotions and challenges.
In Connecticut, your divorce process will unfold in several stages. You may receive your case date during the third divorce stage. This is significant because it indicates that the court will actively manage your divorce.
You may expect relief at this point, but don’t be surprised if you also feel scared, uncertain, and anxious.
The Divorce Process in Connecticut
The divorce process is usually carefully structured. This allows you and your spouse to present financial and legal information. It also allows you a lot of time to think before making final decisions.
After the initial filing and document gathering phases, your case enters the third divorce stage or ‘information gathering phase.’ You will work with your lawyer to compile the necessary documents and update your financial records during this stage. Your lawyer will also prepare you for the upcoming divorce hearings.
If your case date is set, the court will allow you to appear on a specific day. The court will hear your case details and any temporary motions on said day.
It is also possible that the court will make decisions regarding temporary exclusive use of the marital home, alimony, and custody.
Your lawyer will do their best to prepare you for this to help reduce the anxiety you may experience.
Why Receiving a Case Date Causes Anxiety
If you received a case date and are anxious, know it is normal. The most common reasons for your anxiety are:
- Uncertainty. The case date indicates a turning point in your divorce. The legal side is in the court’s hands, and the court will make decisions that affect your future. Not knowing the decisions can create an uncomfortable sense of dread.
- Fear of the unknown. Not knowing what will happen in court can also make you feel anxious. This is usually true for people who have never been in a courtroom or appeared before a judge.
- Emotional stress. Getting divorced effectively ends your marriage. But it also shatters the old vision you had for your life. You may have pictured growing old with your spouse, and now you don’t know how to adjust that vision.
- Financial worries. Since the upcoming hearings may focus on financial matters, you may worry about how this will affect your financial stability. Money worries always increase anxiety.
Understanding the reasons behind your anxiety can help you manage it better. You can use several strategies to calm yourself down as you approach your case date.
Practical Strategies to Cope With Anxiety
The most important thing to do is educate yourself about divorce. Your lawyer should be able to answer all your questions in that regard.
For instance, ask your lawyer about the different stages of divorce. Learn when to file the complaint, the return date, and what could happen on the case date.
In addition to your lawyer, you can also get information from respected blogs, websites, and the Connecticut Judicial Branch website.
Furthermore, it is important to know and understand that you have rights. Allow your lawyer to explain custody and spousal support rights to you. This will prepare you for potential temporary orders that may be issued.
Stay Prepared and Organized
Some divorce proceedings fall into chaos for several reasons. You can avoid this by being organized and prepared at all times. Ask your lawyer for a checklist of the documents you need. This may include bank statements, tax returns, and property records. Get these documents together well before the deadline provided.
If there are any changes in your financial situation during the divorce proceedings, let your lawyer know immediately. Keep records that prove your changed situation in case of a dispute with your spouse’s lawyer.
Explore Self-Care and Mindfulness
Caring for your body and mind is always important, but even more so during stressful times.
Make time to exercise throughout your divorce process. Physical activity releases endorphins, which can help you counteract the negativity of anxiety. Whether you take a long walk or join a gym, getting moving can provide you lasting relief.
You could also try mindfulness. Things like meditation and deep breathing exercises can help calm your mind. This may be a good alternative if you don’t always have time for exercise.
Eating healthy and getting enough sleep can also help you rid your mind of anxiety. Anxiety symptoms tend to worsen when you are overtired or not eating properly.
Getting Professional Support
If you feel isolated during your divorce, speaking to someone who understands is crucial. Mental health professionals are trained to help you work through emotional struggles and anxiety.
A mental health expert may even introduce you to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This therapy is known to reduce anxiety by helping to reframe negative thoughts.
If you are not ready to speak to a therapist, you may find the support you need by signing up for a support group.
Communicate With Your Lawyer
Your lawyer can also be a source of reassurance. Ask your lawyer about parts of the divorce process that confuses or worries you. Also, let your lawyer know if you are feeling overwhelmed.
They may be able to adjust the pace of the divorce case or suggest additional resources to help you manage anxiety.
Focus on What You Can Control
The golden rule of managing anxiety is focusing on what you can control. Divorce is challenging, so break it down into manageable tasks. This also means taking things one day at a time. Provide the documents requested when requested. Appear in court when you need to.
Divorce is usually distressing, so try to focus on life after your divorce. Set goals for your career, hobbies, or family life. Plan a holiday for directly after so you can clear your mind and regroup.
Divorce Is Never Easy
Most people struggle with getting divorced. If you feel like your anxiety is getting out of hand, speak to a therapist and your lawyer. Lean on trusted friends and family members. Remember, your divorce is a stepping stone towards your new life. You can step into a better and brighter future with the right support and strategies.
