What is a successful first date? Obviously, it’s a first date that has been enjoyable for both parties, and that leads to a second date. That is, unless you’re going for a one-night sort of thing, but then it’d be just “a date” and not “a first date.”
However, there are other things we can also expect from a truly successful first date – to learn as much as possible about our partner, to make sure he learns the crucial great things about you, and more. So, how does one go about accomplishing all these things on a first date? Well, here are our 10 successful first date tips for women.
1. Think of some first date topics to talk about ahead of time
Being prepared is always a good thing, especially in high-stress situations such as a first date. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you should plan out something especially strategic – just draft up a few cool ideas for a conversation in your mind ahead of time in case you both find yourself at a loss for words at some point during the date. This can either make your first date even better or at least make a bad date more tolerable – either way, it’s worth it.
2. Consider the first impression you want to make
Everyone knows first impressions are essential, but most people don’t think about it too much beyond that. Yes, you don’t want to make a bad first impression, but what type of “good” do you want his first impression of you to be, exactly? Are you looking for a stable long-term relationship? Are you instead interested in something quick, fun, and casual? These are two very different cases, and they call for different first impressions.
3. Don’t fake it
Preparing to impress someone on a date shouldn’t come at the expense of being yourself. This is especially true if you’re looking for this date to potentially grow into a long-term relationship. In such cases, the rule of thumb is to always try to be as genuine as possible – that way, even if you miss out on an opportunity, it likely wasn’t the right opportunity for you anyway.
4. Too much texting before a first date is unnecessary
One of the benefits of online dating apps is that we get to know the person on the other end a bit before we commit to something serious. Heck, today, there are even entirely online international dating websites such as BridesUniverse where foreign women try to date Western men and men try to find a real mail order bride – all online.
So, chatting online can certainly be used to get to know someone a bit and save yourself some time. However, if we’re talking about dating someone locally, chatting online isn’t something that necessarily benefits us all that much before the first date. The reason for that is simple – a man will say anything to get a first date with a girl he likes.
So, while you can certainly ask him some key questions online ahead of the first date, online chats are usually much more useful afterward instead – once you’ve already had a good look at him, know what you like about him, and have an idea about what you should ask him next.
5. A first date doesn’t have to be long or complicated
Dates can be incredibly fun and elaborate, but that doesn’t necessarily need to be the main focus of a first date. Yes, it should be fun, but the goal of a first date is to see if dating that person is something you want to commit more time to.
So, it’s usually best to plan out your first date as something simple and quick, such as a coffee or a brunch. This way, you can both get a good first impression and – should you like each other – either plan something more substantial for your second date or maybe extend the first date into a lunch or a dinner.
6. Don’t sleep with him on the first date if you’re looking for something serious and long-term
Unless you really wanted to, of course – who are we to tell you not to treat yourself? However, the rule of thumb usually is to leave that part for later. That way, you can make sure that he’s really committed and won’t bug off after he’s got a bit of physical satisfaction.
7. Men appreciate a good listener as much as women do
If you take a peek at articles that advise men on dating women, one of the tips you’ll see absolutely everywhere is “be a good listener.” And this is a good advice! It’s so good, in fact, that it applies to both men and women. Yes, men can be a tad self-obsessive on dates, which is why they need to be reminded to take an active interest in the woman they are talking too.
The opposite is also often true, however, and a successful first date is usually one when both parties have managed to say the things they wanted and have listened to the person on the other end of the table. Knowing how to be a good and active listener is crucial in all areas of life, including dating.
8. Don’t keep him guessing about how you felt after the date
Yes, it’s usually good to take a moment after a date to truly figure out how you feel about it. However, that “moment” rarely needs to be several days. Both men and women can appreciate a bit of clarity in dating, and giving him that as soon as possible can make sure he won’t draw the wrong conclusions from your silence.
9. Offer to pay your half, but don’t quarrel over it
Dating culture has changed rather rapidly these last few decades, and everyone nowadays has different ideas as to how a bill should be paid. Even if you’d rather that he takes care of the bill, however, it’s always a good idea to offer to pay your half. He’ll either politely decline and take care of it (but will have felt much better and more appreciated by your offer), or, at worst, you’ll have to pay your half.
And, if you genuinely would rather pay your share, but he declines – it’s always better to just accept, thank him, and say you’ll pay the next one, rather than play tug-of-war with the bill.
10. Stay safe
We probably don’t need to state the obvious, but the most important first date tip for women is always to make sure they are safe. This isn’t so much to make a first date “successful,” but to ensure that you steer clear from a “really unsuccessful” date instead.
The risks women face when dating are quite clear, even if many men don’t realize how dire the situation often is for the fair sex. Fortunately, most of the good safety tips you should follow are proactive rather than reactive and – when done right – won’t get in the way of an actually good first date. Stuff like calling or arriving with a friend (just initially, of course) to demonstrate you’re not alone is simple but incredibly effective at deterring bad behavior.
Of course, there is no such thing as guaranteeing a successful first date, whether you’re a woman or a man. Dating is a chaotic and convoluted dance with – at first – a complete stranger. It’s a dance where you both dance together, slowly learning each other’s preferred tempo, steps, and flourishes.
Yet, while we can never fully remove the element of chance out of dating, we can certainly minimize it. And the safest and best time to start doing that is before the very first date.
